July 10, 2012

38 SignsThe initial run to posting signs on the Cape last week was exhilarating.  To finally get this project passed a design/development stage was a huge relief.  There were moments in the process that worked uncomfortably against my deeply ingrained inclination to avoid conflict and attention.  The posting of a few signs in broad daylight brought this out in spades. Tyler’s remarkable sunny up front fearlessness in this regard taught me much as we went off for the long run of postings on Thursday night.  We encountered a man coming up from the shore with pole in hand and kids in tow as we we’re about to stake our first sign.  Tyler greeted him, asked about the fishing and then simply put the obvious question to him “I suppose you wonder what we’re doing”.  He did and was given a thumbnail explanation from my brother-in-law.  “38 years?  I won’t be here….” was the reply as he proceeded up the beach to the parking lot.  It was impressive to me on many levels; my cringing reaction to Tyler’s boldness, my agitated response to the man’s shortsightedness.  Upon reflection the exchange pointed to my need to rethink how I might have followed up in dialogue with the man’s pov given my own anxieties and timidity.Now, with the first 16 posted (and at least 1 taken down that we know of), I have the task ahead of follow up and reconsidering where the next half should be located.  There’s the “threat’ of contact and anxiety of conflict, etc. with the authorities or public to be imagined or faced. And, as per my current timely reading of Brian McLaren, there’s the practices that form and transform both outer and inner ecologies of soul and world  for me to deeply consider in this project and bring to-fore in my personal life.My basement-bunkered studio seems so nostalgically appealing as I extend outward with this project.  It’s undoubtedly part of a larger, personal awakening to connect my work with the world, to come out of hiding and try and be of better use and engagement. All very humbling and, I hope, transformative.